Creating this blog has been the deepest mental challenge, but I created this blog because I need to combat my fear of failure and rejection, own my writing, and own what I have to say.
How many times have I written really good pieces for someone else’s site? For free? For exposure–hoping readers click a link that leads them to a Tumblr blog that I write on, but don’t own? And while I am thankful for those opportunities, I could never shake the desire for more.
When I was a child, participating in a summer program, I learned of Toni Morrison. I was so inspired by her Nobel Prize win, her banned books, and her ability to make me actively read and hold on to every page that I boldly prayed that God would make me the 2nd African-American woman to win the Nobel Prize in Literature. Since I’ve gotten older that prayer has stuck with me but I have also, often, tried to talk my way out of it. Aging, experience, and rejection made me a skeptic and I internalized negative feelings about myself and doubtful questions that plagued my mind.
The result: I wasn’t writing.
All I could think about was why my goals and dreams were not valid, why I wasn’t special, and how many other and better writers lived in the world. But in the back of all of those thoughts was the only truth that matters.
The truth: if I do not write, nothing will happen. Good or bad. Bad or good. Nothing will happen.
Nothing is so empty. There is no life in nothing, and so I find that I would rather fail after I sincerely tried than to have nothing, and never try.
More than anything in the world, I want to write, write for people, and feed my family with my writing. I want to tell stories and tell the truth, and so I will.
I know that everyone has a blog, but no one has mine. No one has said what I mean to say, and so I must say it.
And what is the cost?
The power to completely control and own my blog, have my own registered domain name, and create a space that is responsive: focuses on my content, looks like me, and comes with added support?
So, welcome my fellow Wordies 🙂
Welcome to Words with Randie!
I have so much to tell y’all.